We just returned home from an Early Intervention evaluation for my daughter Sydney. (Early Intervention is a federally mandated program run by each state. Google your state’s EI program to learn more.) She is now 18 months old and while other toddlers her age are learning to run she isn’t attempting to walk yet. She has made a few unassisted steps, but recently stopped and now much prefers to crawl or hitch a ride in your arms. Also, while other 18-month-olds are stacking blocks, she has still difficulty picking up objects in a thumb-forefinger grasp from a flat surface. And while other toddlers might be rolling the car along the floor, she is still eating the car.

Today we went for our in-person evaluation, and Sydney did qualify for services. It will be a month or two until we are placed with a permanent therapist, but we have had a wonderful experience working with the Early Intervention specialists and advocate staff. Our service coordinator Ms. Carol paid us a home-visit to talk about what to expect in the evaluation process, placement with a therapist, therapies, goal setting, and the financial and insurance obligations. Today we went for an in-person evaluation at their facility close by our home, and our therapies will be at home in her natural environment. Our goal is to be able to bake bread together in one year.

I have been so on the fence, and a little embarrassed about labeling Sydney a preemie baby. There are so many children out there who fought very hard for their lives having been born many months early weighting only a few pounds. Sydney was born 5 weeks early at a robust 5lbs 5oz and is considered a mildly premature baby. She had none of the feeding, breathing, or heart problems other preemies encounter. But she has always been a bit behind other children her age in the gross motor and fine motor skill areas.

I realize that there are some skills she needs to master before she can move on to the next developmental milestone. I hope to help her start to catch up with children her age, so she can begin to interact and socialize with her peers appropriately. At this point they are running around and she isn’t able to interact with them on the same level sitting in one place.

If you are a parent who is having doubts about asking for help with your child’s development here are a couple of things I’d encourage you to keep in mind:

:: You know your child best and you are your child’s best advocate.

If you feel something they do is peculiar, don’t be shy, ask a professional about it. The worst thing they can do is think that you are an worrisome parent. The best thing they can do is to say, “let’s explore this seeming delay and see if there is something we can do to assist your child’s development.”

Sydney wasn’t picking up food in her hands to eat at 9 months when we started physical therapy. I thought it could be because she didn’t have many teeth, was born a prematurely, and wasn’t interested in eating solids yet. I asked the pediatrician about it, and he referred us to a physical therapy for an evaluation. We learned that she is “low-toned” or has underdeveloped muscles in her legs and core, and this was preventing her from crawling correctly and learning to use her fingers and hands.

:: Know your financial and insurance status and be open about this.

Many programs have financial assistance or base their fees on your ability to pay. The state of Virginia does charge a fee for Early Intervention services but our fee cap per month is based upon our ability to pay.

:: Compare your child’s development with others…but not too much.

When I noticed that Sydney had stopped trying to walk I read books and Internet articles about preemie development and balance issues and about natural neurological development in term-babies. I just wasn’t sure if she was deciding to walk in her own time, or if there were other skills she needed to help to develop. Our son walked at 11 months and has always been “ahead of the curve” with his gross and fine motor skills. Other moms told me not to worry and that their child didn’t walk until they were 18 months old. So I decided to not worry, and let a child development specialist tell us whether she was delayed substantially enough to warrant some help.

:: It is never too late to seek assistance for your child.

Your child may show developmental delays at different stages and may need help at sometimes and not others. Sydney showed marked improvement when we left private occupational therapy at 15 months-old. She then showed enough delay today to qualify her for some additional assistance to help her begin walking, using a spoon, and climb onto a chair.

:: Ask other parents about their experience with Special Needs service providers.

I learned from several moms, and an OT friend, that the Federally mandated Early Intervention program in our area was a wonderfully easy to navigate program and effective. And although EI serves children 3 years and under, the public school system has their own affordable service programs.

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Do you feel like a worry-wart parent who is constantly comparing your child’s development to others? How have you handled your feelings of doubt? Leave a comment here and share your experience with other reader! Happy Organizing.