Tomorrow my son will be 3 years old. This year we actually planned two days to be his birthdays. Last Saturday, his uncle was in town between Navy training missions so we got together for dinner and some family fun. (On a side note, one of my husband’s cousins was there and my daughter cries at any stranger. As she was frantically clinging to me, sobbing, her soon-to-be-3-years-old-very-mature brother turned to the cousin and said, “say ’sorry’ Sydney.” We all just laughed.) Next Saturday we are gathering with our moms group and dads for a picnic at the lake. We are bringing cupcakes and balloons for a simple outdoor play “happy birthday” without hoopla and presents.

In the past we really have gone over-the-top. With a several thousand dollar budget, I catered his first birthday in a private party room.Baby jungle animal themed decorations included 100 balloons (some larger than the birthday boy), coordinated table cloths, paper and plastic-ware, ceiling hangings, stationary, and a custom printed banner and stickers. I baked a two tiered carrot cake complete with fondant baby jungle animals and we invited more than 100 friends and family. I also rented the traditional Korean first birthday decorations for the Tol ceremony. The child sits at a table and is offered many symbolic items that tell his or her future. Our son grabbed the pencil to be a scholar first and then stuck both of his little fat hands in the rice bowl, which symbolizes that he will never go hungry.

At two years old, I pulled back a bit with a budget of several hundred dollars in coordinated decorations. I prepared tater-tots, chicken nuggets, juice and fruit at home. A cake the shape and color of the Lighting McQueen car from Disney topped it off and the kids ran outside to play in the kiddie pools, blow bubbles, and run under the sprinklers.

This year, I decided to do even better with activities that are meaningful to our family, presents that he can actually enjoy, and fun he will remember. For birthday number 3:

• Frugal: I used what we already had. We ate our barbeque from Lighting McQueen plates I forgot I had and leftover red plastic-ware.
• Simple: The focus is on fun. We plan to play outside with his playgroup buddies and the minor side story will be cupcakes and balloons. We asked that no one bring presents because we want the focus to be on fun, not stuff.
• Meaningful: We focused on family. We invited only immediate family (and a few out-of-town cousins) to celebrate with us so that there was a manageable amount to take in.
• The focus is not on “what do I get.” My son has never been all about, “give me, give me.” But this year we decided to give him one bigger present: a model car he put together with daddy, and just a few creativity presents: paints and paper. He plays with this car more than the 30 smaller cars from past birthdays, and his paints are consumable so after they are finished they don’t equal clutter.

Throwing kids birthday parties doesn’t have to be about impressing other parents.It can be about giving your child a day of simple fun. Giving your child stuff may cultivate a reliance on things to demonstrate their self-worth. It is hard for me to not give him everything. I want to really badly. But I know possessions aren’t going to teach him the value of self, only that possessions are valuable. Maybe the reason I still want to give him everything is because I still haven’t totally grasped the value of self?

How have you created birthdays for your child that are simple, frugal, and meaningful? Leave a comment here and share your party planning ideas with others. Also, check out my printable party planner pages here to help you organize your next event! Happy Organizing.